Put Up or Shut Up

Today I put forth the hardest to fallow piece of advice to fallow ever.....well realistically at least. This posts topic is the motto of "Put-up or Shut-up." This is the old philosophy that I am trying to fallow. This idea applies to all parts of a relationship. Can we, as normal humans, do what we need to at times and forget what our heads tell us and instead fallow our hearts. Can we forgo the risks and decide that every day that we delay and let that special someone stay ignorant to our feelings? Can we just play it safe and wait for them to tell you first?

                Some people see this view as childish or naive. I don’t think so, even at my age and with the number of people I have dated over the years, I still find my heart freezing and my face flush at the thought of telling the person on my mind that I have feelings for them. Our world is full of people and opportunities. If you are the say the wrong like me, then take this piece of advice; think over what you have to say and even if you don’t quite get it right when you the moment matters, they will hopefully know what you mean. If not try again and if you are still turned down, consider this, If they are not willing to give you that chance, do you even really want to be dating them?

A few things to consider, though on settings for confessions or asking people out, and many of these may seem obvious but sometimes a reminder is nice. Places with a lot of people are nice to hang out but not good places for asking people you know are concerned with public appearance. If it is a stranger, then yes public places are good because it will make them feel safer in numbers, but with friends who you want to turn into more you need to be alone with them. What you are talking to them about is private. You’re talking to them person to person about something important, not casual conversation area material.

                To “Put-up or Shut-up” is something to remember when you just don’t know if you should. If they turn you down then that is fine, at least you tried and sure enough there will be others. What is the worst thing the person can do?.... oh ya, rip out your heart and stomp on it, but you know what? Fuck them then! They are not worth you then. You deserve respect when you offer your heart on a plate to them and if they don’t respect you enough to be decent when turning you down, it is their loss.

                This advice I would give to anyone no matter their orientation, even though people who are GLTB are a minority. I you are not sure you still have the right to try. Perhaps let them know your orientation subtlety, just to try and get them thinking about it a little. Then maybe ask them out in more private settings.

                Now over all this advice is for the people who want to ask out a friend, someone who they see very often, not for strangers you meet at a bar. Sometimes the wait and see option works, sometimes, things just happen for the better or the worse. All I am saying here is what I have found in my own experience. As always, be careful and be safe.

Another rambling of your friend,

BooMan